[An issue of a periodical quite popular among lowborn uniblade mechanics in the Dominion. This issue is open to a column from the magazine’s recently hired editor-in-chief.]
Oi! Watcha’! I’m the new lad in the shop, ain’t I? The high salt, the man behind the desk, if you know what I mean, and I’m not going to fanny about wit’cha. Old Uni-Mech’s up for some changes. We mean to take a new direction, return to basics old son!
Way back, when I was in knickers, I’d scope Uni-Mech for the technie,
wouldn’t I? It was where I learned the ways and means around a ‘blade’s go-go. Born wit’ a spanner in me hand, my dear old would say, and Uni-Mech was my daily bread. The geezers out there know what I’m talking about.
But look what she’s turned into. A second rate Lad Mag! There’s more ads for fancy togs than there are articles on reactors. Columns on how to spike yer hair just so, how to polish yer horns nice and gleaming-like, what color Uniblade goes wit’ yer fur. And don’t get me started on
all the pics of the pretty Bobs and Bettys in small clothes!
Well, that’s all done, innit?
Uni-Mech was a great mag for great mechs. As it was in the beginning, so it shall be again. I promise you words from the best and brightest ‘blade monkeys out there. I promise fair, in-depth reviews on parts and gear. Old son, I promise you’ll know more about unis when you put us down, than when you picked us up! And maybe, from time to time, a few lush tasties not wearin’ much.