You are now or will soon be watching the Protostar Sports Programming Network, and presumably wish to know what programs will soon be available. Therefore, here is a listing of upcoming, high-profile, eminently profitable programming available ON DEMAND for Protostar Entertainment Solutions subscribers, and available for individual purchase for other, less savvy consumers.
GIRROK/ROWSDOWER RACING FUN HOUR!
Exclusive footage of all the fast-paced, family-friendly,
mega-grisly, blood-drenched fun!
ROWSDOWER ROUNDUP OF DEATH!
Spoilers – The rowsdowers inexplicably won the race, and are breeding like Snorkin Jabbits. Lock and load, competitive big game hunters!
ANIMAL TRAUMA RESCUE ISLAND!
When an innocent rowsdower is shockingly injured in a perfectly innocent rowsdower round-up, the doctors, geneticists, and fur stylists of Protostar Animal Trauma Rescue teleport to the scene! And then teleport back to an island,
where they live, because it’s way more comfortable.
FIRST ANNUAL MALGRAVE GIRROK HUNT
Not taking their racing loss lying down, the surviving girrok of the Girrok/Rowsdower Racing Fun Hour have gone on a rampage, consuming numerous prey animals, clones, and for some reason all of the light fixtures outside PSPN studios. Lock and load again, competitive, slightly bigger game hunters!
WORLD’S MOST HILARIOUS GIRROK-RELATED TRAGEDIES
CAUGHT ON HOLOGRAPHIC CAMERA!
Nothing like shiploads of amateur big game hunters to trigger wave after wave of hilarious hunting accidents – and Protostar holocams have captured every fun-filled minute!
May not be suitable for children who hate fun.
COOKING WITH ROWSDOWER
By which we mean cooking with rowsdower as an ingredient, not cooking with some kind of intelligence-enhanced rowsdower chef. If you’re looking for the latter, be sure to
tune in next week for TOP MASTER ROWSDOWER CHEF KITCHEN EXTREME!
SPORTSEVENING WITH P.T. ROTOSTAR AND THE PROTOSTAR SPORTS ANALYSIS AND PROFITABILITY FUN CREW!
There’s commentary aplenty as the SportsEvening Team tackles the trauma related to this week’s sporting events, the latest fatality totals, and tips for staying cool at your summertime rowsdower barbecue. All that and the latest vindball scores, only on SportsEvening!