Vol. 7: So You’ve Crashed Your Ship
Congratulations! If you’re reading this, you’ve survived a no-doubt traumatizing starship crash of some kind. And if you’ve survived, that means other Protostar employees or passengers might also have survived. Remember: your first priority is to ensure these survivors meet their obligations to the Protostar Corporation, so make sure to collect all pertinent tickets and/or employee identification tags before proceeding.
Have all the
remaining survivors within your immediate vicinity paid up or expired? Good! Now to explore your current situation. If your ship is still spaceworthy, press 1. If your ship is not spaceworthy, but still repairable, press 2. If your ship is neither spaceworthy nor repairable, please trigger all intact emergency beacons, mark all remaining cargo or other Protostar assets, and then see the recommended self-termination procedures in Vol. 8: So You’ve
Outlived Your Usefulness.
Congratulations! You’ve selected option 1: Spaceworthy! Please trigger all available emergency beacons. You are now authorized to transmit petty cash payments to any independent contractors required to return your vessel to space, up to and including the value of your cargo. Note that these payments will be deducted from your hazard pay. If you have no hazard pay, they will be deducted from your regular pay. If you are not a paid Protostar employee, please see Vol. 8.