Protostar’s Cubacon-Flavored Calorie-Neutral Wafer-Chips! Get all the goodness of factory-produced cubacon without any of the messy nutrients! Yes, Protostar’s patented “Calorificient” technology removes anything of physiological value from these food-like objects, leaving you with nothing but deliciousness. And is that not why you eat? Cubacon-Flavored Calorie-Neutral Wafer-Chips… from Protostar!
HEAD OF CREATIVE’S NOTES
-Too many hyphens! If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a quadrillion times – too many hyphens are the mark of poor naming protocols!
-“Deliciousness” is not yet ready for release to the public. Please use the approved term “flavorocity.”
-“And is that not why you eat?” Idiot! Never ask a question to which you do not know the answer. ESPECIALLY in advertising! What if they eat to provide caloric intake to maintain minimal life
requirements, for example? Or because they really hate food and want to see it suffer? YOU DON’T KNOW. So don’t ask!
-In closing, I want every employee responsible for this to report immediately to a recycling facility immediately for new copywriter templates – immediately!