[This datapad contains a Protostar-approved analysis of a true rarity – a nonfunctional, yet fully intact, Mechari head.]
An exceedingly rare specimen that may well prove impossible to duplicate, this one-of-a-kind Mechari head is completely dead, nonfunctional, without sentience or sense, gone to the universe, no longer among the life-possessing population, bereft of thought, absent all vitae, and guaranteed a 100% completely soulless hunk of metal
and rock that just happens to have a charming, if menacing appearance.
The Protostar Corporation has for years been attempting to attain such a specimen as this, never able to complete a trade agreement satisfactory to both sides. Records will show, indeed, that all previous attempts to propose that the Dominion offer up anywhere to two to three dozen Mechari heads – living or dead – in exchange for the wealth of several Protostar owned star systems (including the systems themselves)
has been met with threats of as well as actual weapons fire resulting in the loss of several thousand viable employees.
And now, here, on Nexus, planet of miraculous profitable opportunity, I, a humble managerial clone, have stumbled across the find of a civilization’s lifetime. And I intend to find all the Mechari secrets that can be discovered via intensive and invasive cranial mecha-surgery immediately. Unfortunately, this particular objective has been delayed pending the arrival
of a Level 7 Fusion Scalpel. In the meantime, I intend to set the observationbots to full HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE
Excuse me. The initial A.I. uplink attempt triggered a nearly fatal memory loop. Now recording via uplink.
I cannot argue with the sentiment, however.
As an agent of the ICI, I command any and all non-Protostar sentients able to do so return my head to the appropriate imperial authorities as soon as possible. I have acquired
significant evidence of financial malfeasance, unlawful bio-tampering, and wait do NOT pick me up you little green son of a – OW! [A.I. uplink severed. Please reboot device.]