Congratulations! You have activated the escape and survival functions of your cryo pod! Please read the following instructions carefully.
Yes, if you’re reading this message, you are almost certainly in a dire situation and need to evacuate this ship, station, or slightly larger escape vessel immediately, and all purpose-built escape pods are destroyed or unavailable.
That means you need to get away in quite possibly the same pod in which you have been traveling, sleeping, or relaxing. That’s why every cryo pod we make is equipped with vital components to ensure safe escape from whatever peril you find yourself facing, be it rapid atmospheric decompression, aggressive Marauder boarding parties, or simple mechanical breakdown.
Please ensure these safety features are installed before attempting to use this cryo pod for extravehicular escape, atmospheric reentry, or hard landing procedures.
Congratulations! Your safety features are installed! You can look forward to an increased chance of survival and will be able to manually guide your cryo pod in for a gravity-assisted landing, also known colloquially as a “hard crash.”
We recommend you complete any last documents you may wish to complete before your potential death, as the safety features of this cryo pod model are in no way guaranteed to ensure complete survival. To ensure complete survival, please install portable holo-crypt device.
I’m sorry! This cryo pod is not equipped with a portable holo-crypt device. In fact, there is no such thing as a portable holo-crypt device!
We have found, however, that sales of this cryo pod model improve by several percentage points when portable holo-crypt devices are mentioned. This is now hardwired into this safety briefing. Forgive the oversight!
Congratulations! Your new cryo escape pod is ready for launch. Happy landings!