Congratulations on your appointment to the [PROTOSTAR BUZZBING HONEY EXTRACTION TEAM] in the [AURORIA] region of the planet [NEXUS]! We here at Protostar know that you, [CLONE ZX7-34-2A9-MANAGERIAL] will do your best to make Phineas T. Rotostar and all of us here at Protostar – that is, Phineas T. Rotostar – profitably proud!
To ensure maximum profitability, please observe the following protocols at all times:
1. Let the bots do the work. That’s what they’re for! Your job is to watch them
and report if anything goes wrong.
2. The bots at [INSERT AURORIA HONEY EXTRACTION FACILITY ID HERE] are programmed to seek out and [EXTRACT] all available [BUZZBING HONEY] in the area. Let them! (See Protocol 1.)
3. If anything goes wrong, contact your immediate superior and request permission to deactivate the haywire bots! Yes, other things could go wrong, but let’s be realistic. It’s going to be haywire bots.
4. Should these inevitable haywire bots cause [DISASTER] at your facility,
activate your Protostar [DISASTER] Alert Beacon! Rescue should arrive within 7-10 business days. We recommend you keep yourself alive in the interim by [ABSORBING SUNLIGHT, BECAUSE EATING HONEY WOULD EAT INTO PROTOSTAR PROFITS].
This is not a [FORM LETTER]!
[INSERT NAME OF IMMEDIATE SUPERVISOR HERE]